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Relatives - Because sometimes you need reminding of your bad genes too.
Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
How come "you`re a peach" is a complement but "you`re bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name.
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
Somehow I`m not nearly as overjoyed with this vegetable slicer as the woman on the infomercial was.
Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.
If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of chickens, you are a chicken tender.
I want to meet the guy whose complaint led to cashiers asking me if it`s okay if they put the receipt in my bag.
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.