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Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
Someday, somewhere, somehow I’m going to do something.
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don`t Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
Advice of the day: Don`t go trick or treating at the bank. They get freaked out. Especially when it`s not Halloween
It`s always the darkest before dawn. So if you are going to steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s the best time to do it.
After I die, there are some people I’m going to haunt the sh!t out of.
I wish I could forget you as easy as I forget my passwords.
My therapist goes to her therapist five minutes after I leave.