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While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
Got a little too much sun today. I knew I should have closed the blinds.
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
Apparently there is no age limit on ignorance.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase Regards again.
Oh honey, you`re not pretty enough to be that stupid
... and so begins another failed hundred or so attempts at trying to write the correct year on anything I date.
I`m getting tired of having to write "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
You don’t have to be drunk to love me, but it helps