Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
If you have to ask if it`s too early to drink wine...You`re an amateur and we can`t be friends.
Its all sh!ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh!ts
I just want a reason to dramatically slide across the hood of a car.
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
I don`t make enough money to go on vacation so I`m just going to get drunk this weekend until I don`t know where I am.
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!
I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.