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I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff,,, followed by disappointment.
" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says “trust me, you don’t want to know.”
Is it just me that finds it disturbing that you can accidentally make a baby but you can`t accidentally make a pizza?
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...
If your parachute doesn`t deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Your shirt might say UFC but your body says KFC
I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.