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Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
I thought I was a bit hardcore until I saw this guy sucking on a soy sauce packet like an Otter Pop.
Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
If you have fewer than 25 FB friends. Please unfriend me because thats just embarassing and I dont want to be on your "loser" list.
My wife thinks I’m at work. My boss thinks I’m home sick. These ducks think I’m awesome because I have the bread.
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin…just in case.
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
If the Dollar Store ever starts selling alcohol....drinks are on me.
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you, would actually kill me
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
I´m really bored but too lazy to do anything about it.
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets!
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?