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It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.
The sense of success when you’ve had something stuck between your teeth and you manage to free it after 25 mins of tactical tongue pressure.
I`m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You`re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what`s going on here.
Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody`s getting.
This Pokemon Go crap is getting ridiculous. I just saw a fight breakout between the pokebloods and the pokecrips.
If you scream in a library, people just look at you funny. If you scream on an airplane, everyone joins in.
When people say, "You look familiar," i like to reply with, "Do you watch porn?"
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor’s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right.
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
drinking while working out...it`s called Bacardio
Facebook is like my fridge… I know there is nothing there but I check it every 10 minutes anyways.
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
You`re never too old to ride in a radio flyer wagon but apparently you can be too fat.
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.