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If it weren`t for WebMD I would have never known what symptoms to mimic so I could get all these prescriptions from my doctor.
Does Facebook offer a 401(k)?
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ?#? SLEEPING?the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people, respect it!
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
Can you make garlic bread out of frozen waffles? Asking for someone who wishes they had remembered garlic bread at the store.
My kid go from "omg...you`re impossible I can`t wait until I`m 18!" To "You`re the best mom ever" in a matter of $100
Never go on a blind date with a friend! She was so big when i took her home she went to my backyard and started grazing.