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Don`t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I wasn`t listening anyway.
The next time someone asks me what I`m doing, I`m gonna reply "I`m breathing 2 stay alive how about u"?
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
Just stepped outside, closed my eyes, took a deep breathe of fresh air, sipped a Dew. What a perfect morning, what could go wrong? Crap I forgot 2 put pants on!
When you’re old, my kids will be in charge. I’m so, so sorry.
No thanks, cardio, this pot of coffee will get my heart rate up just fine
Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Everything Else
Tried to plug my charger in the wrong hole. Siri was like STOP " I don`t do that ".
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.
I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
A fear of mine is a proctologist with poor depth perception!