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when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
Worry: a waste of imagination.
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
The fox says you need to stop.
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
Today is National I Don`t Feel Like Doing Sh!t Day. Celebrate accordingly.
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
I`d kill for a microwave that plays Europe`s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
People who go rock climbing: you know you don`t have to, right
I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
My wife is driving me to drink. I hope she remembers to pick me up when I’m done.
You can only push me so far before I breakdance.