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Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous...Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet.
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Just because you have a beard doesn`t mean you`re a man. Last time I checked vaginas can grow hair too.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn’t do it until the night before.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
“We don`t lick people!” - Lies adults tell kids
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won`t understand how many calories are in it.
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)