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I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….
Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30.
Did you know that if you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.
I don`t really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
75% of my current net worth is in gift cards.
Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
It`s so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
Just when you want to be a good person again , someone new to stalk shows up
The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. It’s dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"