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People who live in glass houses must have to clean up a lot of dead birds.
If you don`t have anything nice to say I would probably enjoy spending time with you
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I`m made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
I started seeing this girl recently. She sometimes texts. Sometimes Whatsapps. Sometimes she emails. Sometimes she Facebooks. Im getting mixed messages.
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
If someone starts a sentence with "words can`t express," brace yourself, because they`re about to give it a hell of a try anyway.
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
I’m not a vegetarian but I eat animals who are.
No, I don`t have tourette syndrome..I was just telling you what I think of you.
Dear Rebecca Black, you are the most beautiful And prettiest girl in the world. Don`t let the haters get you down. P.S Forgot to mention today`s opposite day.
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”
Pulling out a winter coat and going through the pockets to find out who I was 8 months ago.
"You suck! No, you suck!!" - Two women in a threesome