Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket, you`re proably not gonna win, but you`re sure as hell gonna try!
No one appreciates the special genius of your conversation like the dog does
Grey Goose and Red Bull, because two sets of wings is better than one.
Can everyone come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back & not say a word to my parents so they think I lived a cool double life.
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
I broke my finger today. But on the other hand I`m fine.
I slept on the sofa last night which is weird because I`m not even married.
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!
Just found out the government won`t hire you past age 37. Scratch Navy SEAL off my to do list
I`ll never forget the first time I saw a dry erase board, "Wow" I thought, "that`s remarkable"
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone
If you’re telling me to relax, it’s probably your fault that I’m not.
Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed.