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Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
Personally, I believe that around 93% of the world`s population should run with scissors.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners.
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
I said "Candyman" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
My doctor told me to start killing people. Well it wasn`t those exact words. He said I needed to reduce the stress in my life.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
One of my female friend is reading a book called "Learn to drive in a week" for the last 3 years.
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
I don`t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.