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Always have a goal. Example: Turn as much alcohol into urine as you can.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
I wish I could veto MY bills.
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
Every woman needs a shoulder to cry on, a shoulder to lean on and a shoulder to hold her bra strap on!!!
I have Beer.
Someday, I`ll live in my OWN basement!
I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
Roger that command center, we have arrived at our destination and will commence countdown..............Sir this is McDonalds how may I help you
Kinda funny how the Mayans said we were all gonna die in 2012, but they all disappeared way before us.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........