Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Congratulations! You’ve just read this sentence.
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
I don`t know what`s scarier. Houses with Halloween decorations or houses that still have up Christmas decorations from last year.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
Today I found a penny. It reminded me of you. Worthless & found in everybody`s pants.
He was like, `We`re all slowly dying` So I was like, `WRONG` and I threw him in front of a moving bus.
Every time I hear the phrase, "Fire at will!", I can`t help but wonder, "What did Will do?!"
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
I like to keep bartenders on their toes by making up drinks on the spot. "Yeah, I`ll take a Dirty Hammock."
Get ahead of myself. Sometimes I
Who can really hear themselves thinking?
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
A guy had his whole left side torn off, the doctor said he`s all right.