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Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
The phrase "don`t take this the wrong way" has zero % success rate
It’s hard to get a lot done when you’re busy having a snack every 15 minutes
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
This hangover feels like... I should take a shot.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as the Kraft Singles?
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"
Sometimes I just bang my head on the keyboard and hope words form.
I try not to limit my madness to March.
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol