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You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma`am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
B!tch Please, your only fan is the one on your ceiling.
What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else`s
Daylight Saving Time rocks. It even makes laziness sound impressive. I did nothing for 24 hours? Not today. I did nothing for 25 hours!
It’s not the holiday season unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…