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While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in a long line, loudly, at amusement parks
Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......
Gym update: not there
Every have one of those moments where you look at yourself in the mirror and think "Damn if I weren`t me, I`d totally hit that."
Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood ‘Awake’
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
I’m drinking something. I`ll give you a hint: It starts with a B and rhymes with....um..... “beer.”
Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push ... into traffic.
Nothing tells your friends you`ve made it in life quite like owning a 4 slice toaster.