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This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.
I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
My GPS says "time of arrival" ... I see "time to beat."
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
PRO TIP: If you walk around the mall hitting kids in the face with the shopping bags, your wife won`t make you carry them.
The song "Take me out to the Ballgame" is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame.
Everytime I see a person jogging I already know they have facebook, everyone on facebook works out.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
I just saw the neighbor`s kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I`m thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn`t supposed to.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.