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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn`t hand out drugs.
Meal prepping is basically eating a week`s worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.
I sure buy a lot of alcohol. Hope I`m not a shopaholic.
I don`t need to go to church in order to feel ashamed of myself on Sunday morning.
Iām pretty much always down for a snack.
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.
To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.
is currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery ... who has something nice to say?
Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.
Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn`t murdered her