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My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
If I were a cashier I`d pretend people were waiting in line to kiss me.
The parent-teacher conference is going great. They have no idea I’m not the teacher.
I’m an only child, and I’m still not the favorite.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh ya…..Just you wait.....”
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
It is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.