Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What do you call a woman with big breasts who doesn`t make sandwiches? A compromise.
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
For parents of small children, weekends are about as relaxing as showering with cats.
My son got one of those `Stop Bullying` wristbands. he took it away from a fat little ginger kid.
When I think of all the money I’ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you thought this would be something sweet and charming, but it`s just some garden facts.
They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship. I`m not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.
I finally got some medication for my Attention Deficit Disorder. Now if I could just remember the name of it and where I left it at.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?
The fastest way to being happy is to make other people happy. You go first.
There are no absolutes in this world. Except vodka.