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Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
When you write misspelled backwards it`s misspelled.
Dear Noah, we could have sworn you said the arc wasn`t leaving until 5. Sincerely, unicorns.
My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
Saying "I`m offended" is basically telling the world you can`t control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
Guys i did not copy or edit this status of mine.Please believe this is my own idea!
Just realized that 90% of Disney cartoons involve lying about your identity to get someone to love you.
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend who is actually me.
How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
You know what I hate? People who answer their own questions.
Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go f*ck yourself.
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.