Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
How easily you’re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
Why do they waste so much money on all the checkout lanes at Walmart, when they only have two of them open at any given time.
I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.
is spending my children´s inheritance.
In my porno they`d deliver the pizza after they had sex because otherwise it`d just get cold.
Raising teenagers is easy, they sleep 16 hours day, eat the other 8, and the only word in their vocab is "ok"
Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
I`d share my Netflix login but I`m too embarrassed by "My List".
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
I`ve reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
I successfully cleared a path from the front door to the TV. Now I can watch Hoarders.
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
Backseat drivers are the worst. They`re always like "the light is red!" and "don`t text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"