Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s proving very difficult to find a shop selling “Left Guard” for my other armpit…
There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
I`m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
Hello customer service, I ate two happy meals and I’m still not happy
The only way I know if I’ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger.
She was rare, like an onion ring in french fries
If my memory gets any worse I`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
I forgot to post this earlier
It`s amazing how much more money I have when I`m drunk.
If pigs could fly, nobody would be eating chicken wings.
I wonder if pet products are tested on humans?
Laughter is the best medicine, but if you are laughing for no reason, you might need medicine.
It`s kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.