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Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
Technically, it isn`t pre-marital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
One of my favorite discoveries about adulthood is that there are literally no rules stopping you from eating an entire row of Oreos at once.
I’m sad when my food is over.
I think...therefore, I am.....single
I’m bored enough to clean.
Please, lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won`t spoil me!
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
I`m absolutely nailing this "I give a sh!t" face today!
No, I did not forget my password. I distinctly remember it being 8 asterisks.
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."