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My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
My friend is a magician, she can turn anything into an argument.
if you want me to go running with you, I´m going to need some motivation... Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.
I do not like being told what to do unless I`m naked.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
Hearing jokes is always 100 times funnier when you have water in your mouth.
For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids.
The worst part of being an insomniac is having to eat spiders while I’m awake to maintain my yearly average.
I’ve never pretended to be anything I’m not…except for sober. I’ve pretended to be sober a few times.
I liked you better before we met.
Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos ..
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?
Facebook is perfect for those people that have never been very good at waiting for their turn to speak.
You`re right. I don`t have a clue. I`ve never had a clue. It`s part of my charm and it seems to be working for me.