Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "klondike bar".
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
Just because I`m awake doesn`t mean I`m ready to do things
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
If you`re sick and tired of every Asshole on Facebook asking you to copy and paste stuff as your status, please copy and paste this as your status.
Love going into a crowded area and yelling, "Hey stupid!!" and seeing how many people turn around.
Merry Christmas (I apologize if you`re not Christian). Happy Hanukkah (I apologize if you`re not Jewish). Happy Holidays (I apologize if you`re not happy).
Nobody looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep.
Accidentally ran over my neighbor’s cat today and I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying “Curiosity was here”
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child.
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.