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Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the hell.
I don`t think my blind date was blind, she read the menu and caught the basketball I threw at her
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
It hurts to be in love. Oh wait, I`m sitting on my keys.
A wise man, will often say nothing
There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
Raise your hand if you have already spent your daylight savings
Roses are red, Violets are blue... Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you thought this would be something sweet and charming, but it`s just some garden facts.
Bored, so I’m going to find a kid that looks like me and tell him I’m him from the future.
Vaginas are like the weather. When it`s wet, it`s time to go inside.
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.