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I have many talents, but giving an f*ck isn’t one of them
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
Shout out to bees, willing to kill themselves just to inconvenience a hater.
if I was a bird, I know who I´d poop on first.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
It’s not that I don’t want kids, it’s just that I don’t want a minivan.
Don`t forget, If anyone asks we are a normal family.
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
when i was little my dad told me that the icecream man only played music when he ran out of icecream well played dad well played
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
This is a lousy dating site.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split