Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Oh you better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout I`m telling you why. Nobody gives a f*ck.
Relax,,, We`re all crazy.. It`s not a competition.
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
I’m classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
Whoever is in charge of making sure I don´t do dumb stuff is fired.
It`s like my kids don`t even believe how cool I was in the 80s.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies.
When I`m on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
that annoying manager who thinks they are god ... you are not ... you are a douche box
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
I just told my wife it took her longer to pick a Netflix movie than it took me to pick out her engagement ring and that was a bad analogy.
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
Cactuses are just heavily armed cucumbers.