Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My day so far: 1) Jumped out of bed 2) Cooked breakfast 3) Ran 6 miles 4) Worked out 5) Started lying compulsively
Nothing like responsibility to ruin a perfectly good day.
I will write something profound ... subsoil!
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
I hate Cheetos stains on my peignoir.........
Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight… Hoping to get a PS4 in return.
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
I met a lady named Polly once. She didn`t care for crackers, nor my sense of humor.
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
My status would be a lot funnier if you could see my back-up dancers.
I’ve taken off my pants in most malls that I’ve been to.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
The only thing I have learned so far in this company meeting is that this room has 37 ceiling tiles and 24 fluorescent bulbs.