Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
I spend 95% of the time out of bed wishing I was back in bed
I prefer to use the bathroom naked w/ the door wide open. Sorry if this interferes with your idea of a "safe & fun work environment"
I`m sorry I got salsa on your baby, and I`m extra sorry I scraped it off with a chip
If they really want to increase breast awareness, why not try a National Motorboat Day?
If you ever hear me say that I missed you it`s only because I have bad aim.
People who don’t like pizza are people you don’t need in your life.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
We all have that one person we forever regret giving our phone number to.
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.
Best part of living alone...clothing optional ;)
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...