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All sex is safe sex if you keep your bright orange reflective vest on.
Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck they should at least send me a picture of the broke ass family I support to hang on my fridge.
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer.
It may look like I`m doing nothing, but I`m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
Some mornings it`s best just to fill the sink with coffee, dunk you head in, and suck.
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
You don`t even want to know the things I have done for a Klondike Bar...
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.