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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
Redneck word of the day: Twerk "Imma have one more beer then imma get back twerk!"
What do you call a woman with big breasts who doesn`t make sandwiches? A compromise.
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
Give a kid a Pop Tart and they eat for a day. Teach a kid how to make a Pop Tart and you sleep in all summer
Dating Tip: If you eat a magnet and slip another magnet into your date`s drink she`ll never be able to leave you
I Wonder what Facebook Employees do to waste time at work ?
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
If my body was a car, I`d trade it in for a newer model. Cause everytime I cough or sneeze, my radiator leeks and my exhaust backfires.
Life is far too short to remove the USB safely.
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
I still like going into Burger King and ordering a McWhopper and a McFry.
Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don`t want to see a lot of it...
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?