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Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
I`m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You`re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what`s going on here.
Christmas trees are like boobs...the fake ones are nice to look at... But the real ones are so much better
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Life is Hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
My friend said "hey that girl has a nice butt" I said "yes i bet she can sit down excellently "
You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
I was born at a very early age.
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of