Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
Work like you don`t have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
"Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then I’m assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall ... I plan on sticking to it.
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
The girl on the flyer is never at the club.
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
Bored? Simply send a text message to a random number saying..."I`m Pregnant!"
Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm the f*ck down. -Bfanch
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.