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Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
I`m constantly bombarded with requests to check out `Candy Crush`… well I`ve spent hours searching the porn networks… I can`t bloody find her!
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say 3 times the name of the person you love, you will look really stupid doing that!
I was bored of doing the same thing day in and day out,so I phoned the "Local Ramblers Club"....but the guy on the other end of the phone just went on and on and on!
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
I might not be smarter than a 5th grader, but I can buy beer.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled.
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...
Ever wonder if we`re just a reality TV show for a more intelligent species?