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Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
I think ugly people have children just to prove to everyone they had sex.
Never trust anyone who smiles this early in the morning.
I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
My next pet is going to be named "Peeve."
If you`re sick and tired of every Asshole on Facebook asking you to copy and paste stuff as your status, please copy and paste this as your status.
I used to date this girl that worked at Hasbro, but I finally got sick of all her games.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
Im switching some friends from my Facebook account to my Fakebook account.
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(