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How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
*puts selfie on top of christmas tree because I am the star*
It`s pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it`s not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
Hey, does anyone know which side you`re supposed to wear your fanny pack on? I want to really nail this job interview tomorrow.
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
Hey whiny kids with iPhones: when I was your age, I played with a stick.
The toughest thing in business is minding your own.
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
Farts are just ghosts of things that we ate. ;D
People always say that alcohol kills... but if you think about it .... it causes many births too.
"I`ve had so much coffee, I got halfway to work and realized I forgot my car."
I wish life had a “rewind-the-weekend” button.