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Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision!
I did responsible things all day so tonight will consist of nothing that even resembles responsibility.
Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
I remember when the internet was two tin cans and a string.
What’s the answer to this question?
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
Good job on the speed traps, cops – How are the murderer traps coming along?
Lawns: You cut them, then water them so they grow just so you can cut them again. This does not make sense.
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!
To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.
I just did a weeks worth of cardio after I walked into a spider`s web.