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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
My New Year`s Resolution is to stop making late decisions.
As an adult, Iām not eating nearly as much ice cream as 10 year old me thought I would.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
Of all the lies I`ve told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
I`ve been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don`t know how to tell her I forgot her name.
When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
The songs I like always come on when Iām supposed to be getting out of my car.
Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
Autocorrect changed "you`re so wise" to "you`re so wide", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home.
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.