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Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
Money can buy imitation happiness. I’m cool with that.
I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
My mom says I`m special.
I`d bite my nails less if there wasn`t always chocolate frosting under them.
I can bench 250 lbs. And by that, I mean, I can sit myself down on a bench in a local park.
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
My Superpower is eating 5 times the "suggested serving" size.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
Why does the sound of the recliner opening always remind my wife the trash needs to be taken out?