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The secret to eternal life and happiness could be hidden in the Terms & Conditions and we would never know.
I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there`s an 83% chance that my nephew just added "Mother*ucker" to his vocabulary.
Somewhere, right this minute, someone is reading this sentence.
Fun game for parents: Scream in horror the first time your child loses a tooth.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
I hope these environmentally friendly toilets save at least 3x the water because that’s how many times I need to flush.
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
I`ll vacuum over something a hundred times before I pick it up and place it back down and try again.
You know you are in trouble when your mom screams your whole name.
Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young.
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
I`ll bet whoever said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" had just farted
I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home.
Because it`s the season to give thanks, I would just like to say....you`re welcome.
Dear whoever ate my fries while i was in the ball pit at McDonald`s... grow up!!