Daily Silly Status

Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.

Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.

I had a terrible dream about mufflers and now I`m exhausted.

Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?

There just isn`t enough make-up in this world to cover up crazy.

I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.

Their bedroom door is closed. I better walk in there for no reason. - kids

Of course bears sh!t in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.

I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.

I`d like to thank Tetris for making me really good at loading my dishwasher.

I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P

I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.

There are two rules to success in life - 1. Don`t tell people everything you know

I see you’re playing stupid. Looks like you’re winning too.

Your secrets are safe with me! Odds are, I wasn’t even listening.