Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
I have a confession to make. I was born with a rare disease called “Amazing.”
"We have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants..." - me explaining underwear to aliens.
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
My boss said “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
If Santa doesn`t bring me something good I`m going to pee in his lap like I did when I was eight.
If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they`d shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT
Apparently I misunderstood it when I was told to "expose yourself to other cultures."