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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to Bounce of 3 walls, Knock over a lamp and kill a cat.
All women are crazy. But, if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live.
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
Life gets a lot easier once you decide to become part of the problem.
Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" ... I thought this was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)