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Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though.
Mary, mary quit contrary, watched their garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now they`s doing three to five.
Aren`t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know...The birth of Santa
Plumbers should keep busy this week now that No Shave November is over..
Not All Of The `Goodbyes` Are Sad (eg. * Goodbye School * Goodbye Work)
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
I did not steal your drink. You abandoned it and I rescued it.
Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
Save water, shower together.
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
Someone asked me if I`m ever scared that I`ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there.