Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You know why you like me ... Cause your f*ckin crazy too!!!
My doctor told me to start killing people. Well it wasn`t those exact words. He said I needed to reduce the stress in my life.
Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
The only complaint I have about being married is being married.
I need to get out of bed and do something so I can justify taking a nap later.
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
Office thermostats only have 2 settings: hell fire and hypothermia.
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
I`ve noticed that the squirrels are gathering nuts for the winter. Couple of my friends are missing...
I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
I took the "Which 90`s Cartoon Are You?" quiz and got "You`re a fucking grown man. Stop it. Right now."