Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hi, welcome to adulthood! You`ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up. It would be nice to piece together my twenties.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
I don`t care what people think of me. It can`t be half as bad as what I think of them...
"I believe I can fry" - R Kelly filling out McDonald`s application
I broke my finger today. But on the other hand I`m fine.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
Any woman can make you a Millionaire.. You only have to be a Billionaire first.
I`m not crazy, but I am a carrier.
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
I wonder if pet products are tested on humans?
I really hope my spirit animal is a bear because well I would love to hibernate all winter.