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If Plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.
Before having any kids make sure you’re done sleeping and doing things you like to do.
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
I like to keep bartenders on their toes by making up drinks on the spot. "Yeah, I`ll take a Dirty Hammock."
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I`m heading north to start a new life.
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol