Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
Teacher: Why are you late!? Me: There was a man who lost a $100 bill..Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it? Me: No, I was standing on it until he f*cked off.
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?
Cops are allowed to tell women they have the right to remain silent, but when I do it I wind up with a fork in my leg.
If you knew how many trips to the bathroom every phone has taken, you’d never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch somebody else’s phone. Ever.
Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It`s called Facebook.
If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.
I don`t think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.